STEM burnout: A student’s perspective

It’s been difficult for me to keep up with making content lately because senior year of college is absolutely crushing me.

It’s gotten to the point that I’ve actually looked into switching programs, switching schools, taking time off, dropping classes. I’ve considered dropping out senior year, when I only have 14 credits and 2 semesters left before I can graduate. Worse, it’s only 4 weeks into the semester and I’ve already considered it.

What’s terrifying and sad is that I’m not the only one. I had a breakdown last night, was sure I couldn’t continue with the semester, but I did. I made it to class today and met with the other members of my senior design group. It didn’t take long for two other members to admit that they’ve thought about dropping out. They brought it up completely on their own.

It’s not a matter of “school is hard and I don’t feel like it.” Because of school, I’ve ended up sobbing in my bed at 2AM, hating life and myself and dreading the next day (or week, or month, or semester). Our program is so stressful that three high-achieving, nearly-straight-A students talked about dropping out as a normal topic of conversation. It shouldn’t be this way. It doesn’t have to be.

We might be seniors, but it’s not senioritis. It’s burnout. And it’s hit everyone I talk to in my program, from the students who go after perfect grades for medical school to the students who just want to pass.

We’re exhausted. Every semester we’re expected to learn difficult content that only gets more difficult by the year. By senior year, we can’t do it anymore. Our brains are tired and our will to overcome the fatigue is gone. Breaks are far too little time for us to recover. Plus, by senior year we’ve been encouraged by the professors and university to take on more and more responsibilities with research, outside projects, and internships. We’re made to feel like if we don’t, we’re not doing things right. If we don’t, we won’t be able to do anything with our degrees.

We also feel powerless. We’re at the mercy of professors. If the professor wants to grade on an arbitrary, undefined scale, we can’t do anything about it. If the professor’s schedule is unrealistic, chances are they won’t do anything to change it. If the whole class fails an exam, the professor can blame the students. If we’re putting 10 hours a week into a 2 credit hour class, the professor can still demand 20, on top of other homework, jobs, and obligations.

I shouldn’t feel like my choices are dropping out or failing when I’m a previously-straight-A student. I shouldn’t find myself forced to continue down a path I hate because I’m almost to the end. My classes are no longer interesting, but I keep taking them so I can get out of here. When I hate my life only when school is in session, it indicates a huge problem.

Unfortunately, engineering education hasn’t taught me how to be creative or how to design things. It’s taught me how to parrot back a process in exactly the right way so that I get all the points for it. I don’t have to understand a concept fully, just enough to get the questions right. And I don’t have enough time in my days to understand every concept fully.

This system has taken students who were eager to learn, eager to contribute, eager to excel in class and in the field, and crushed any excitement they had. Now it’s just about finishing, the process be damned. Getting that diploma, however we get it, has to be better than dropping out, right? We hope so. We cling to the idea that it’s worth it.

It’s not all programs, which is what made me see the problem. It’s possible to reach senior year and not feel like college has crushed your soul. I just don’t know how to change the culture of programs it’s ingrained into, like STEM programs. And it’s too late for me, anyway.

I’m putting this out there because I felt like a failure for all the problems I was having finishing my degree. I thought it was something wrong with me. It helped to learn that I wasn’t the only one, although it doesn’t fix the problem. It might vary from program to program and school to school, but the fact that this burnout is acceptable anywhere indicates a deeper problem. Working ourselves to death shouldn’t be the norm, because if that’s the case, why are we working?

I don’t have a solution, but we need more people to join the conversation so we can find one.

-Bri

I love creating resources like this, but each one takes a lot of time and research. If you liked this post, consider supporting the site with a coffee! Thanks! <3